Fire the Brain-F'd Andy Reid NOW! (updated)

Since the day that grunty turd rolled through the door, I've expected nothing but disaster. Other than the miracle of a horrible NFC East for a few years, I haven't been surprised by anything that's gone on in Philly after Reid was given the castle.

The man strikes me as a text-book sociopath - his first decision was to filter callers to the "Andy Reid Show" on radio. Why is that a horribly bad omen? Well, you're coming into Philadelphia where fans are passionate and loud in their support and their criticism - and your first act is to throttle their voices?!?! The question that was first on my mind was, "Are you nuts?" Then I started to assemble the answer pretty quickly, "Yes, he is nuts."

I've told my friends and acquaintances this for years. All I get from the non-Philly fans is, "All the guy does is win and you complain." Well, I still see the list of Super Bowl winners doesn't include the Eagles. And the vaulted Championship games that we lost were miserably coached debacles, management mismatches that are clear to any observer.

My way, my rules, my words, my system, my players - mine, me, me. In short, fat boy is a classic "control freak." And all control freaks have one common and inevitable destiny: failure.

And don't think the situation with his older boys (they're both doing time) isn't related directly. If you can't see this guy being the "you colored outside the lines," tear up the coloring book, and stomp away type of father, then maybe you haven't met any. One kid out of 3 in a family being completely unable to function as a law-abiding "adult" isn't outrageous, but he's 2 for 2 so far. Not a coincidence.

Here's an high-level outline of the typical odyssey for those of you who haven't been around a control freak. This is how it works in every type of organization, not just a football team:

1. Inspire confidence (you've got a plan!). Freak was brought in because things were bad and those still there are hopeful and want to improve the organization.
   
2. Get pretty good results early. People are motivated and inspired to achieve.
3. Suggestions to improve things from motivated 'underlings' come in. They are politely "seriously considered"... but really ignored for the most part.
4. Impatient 'underlings' leave as it starts to become clear that the freak won't listen. "Yes men" brought in to replace them, which helps stop the flow of questions and suggestions to the freak in charge.
   
• "Leaders" whose words are not fully under control of the freak are cut loose - or their lives are made so miserable that they don't want to be in the environment any more and leave on their own volition.
  
5. The 'underlings' start shutting down their critical thinking. The more submissive have been beaten enough when they'd previously opened their mouth that they just go through their paces, making no fuss, doing only as told. No innovation, no adaptation, no inspiration - just more tight adherence to the freak's wishes. The "yes men" grate on many people's nerves.
6. Eventually, the reality that the freak can't do it all and do it all well, starts to crash down on the freak. Fingerpointing erupts as the freak can't and won't believe that s/he is capable of doing anything wrong. Therefore, the problems must be because of crappy underlings! The freak starts to appear crazy(ier) because s/he is getting crazier.
7. Blame game lasts as long as the freak is allowed to stay in control. Bunker mentality grows. Freak attempts to lure some people (often the "yes men") into his corner to help him/her fight the infidels, so in public there are a few loyalists who throw scapegoats under the bus while the resentment of others who just want to get their job done soars.
8. Conclusion: Bottom falls out, resulting in organizational failure - or the freak and his/her bunker mates are replaced.

I think it's safe to say we're almost at the end with Andy Reid.

The Eagles need to fire Reid and his entire administration now. That way, the stockpiled picks for next year can be put to good use to rebuild. If you wait until after the season, it may take too long to prep for the draft.

And maybe we should think about hiring someone who isn't a nutbag as head coach.... just a suggestion...

Update Nov. 24, 2008 - 10:22
Former Eagles linebacker and Philly-based sports journalist Gary Cobb writes today that the answer to the question, 'who is calling the offensive plays for the Eagles' is a secret. Yes, a secret! G might as well point to my post here,specifically to point #6. If things were going well, it would surely not be a secret. Don't be surprised to hear that Reid will "take over" the play calling for Thanksgiving Day's game against the Cardinals.