Iowa, New Hampshire Threaten Nation With Early Start To 2012 Primary Season

I promise to pay my taxes.

I promise to obey traffic laws.

I promise to put food on the table for my family.

I promise to paint the family room.

I promise to not slaughter and mutilate everyone in an orphanage.



Unfortunat­ely, a neighbor looked at me funny so I slaughtere­d everyone in an orphanage.



But hey, I hit 80% of my promises, therefore I AM GREAT!
About Eat The Press
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost